I just returned from my second therapy session, and I actually feel lighter. Clearer. Validated, even, I guess.
As I walked over to the therapist's office, I was thinking to myself: "Yanno, I don't know if I need this...", but I have to tell you that the hour flew by, and I actually feel lucky to have stumbled upon such a kind-hearted and wise woman to bounce my thoughts and feelings off of.
In my session last week, we honed in on why I have a tendency to cut people out of my life, and whether or not it is truly a healthy practice.
This week, we focused on whether or not I feel that Mike has both feet in our relationship, and how I would feel differently if I truly thought that his feet were entirely in. (For the record, I think he is 97%. And for the record, I know that that is not the number it should be.) We dove into Mike's anxiety issues and she explained how his guilt of hurting someone, anyone, not just X, controls his actions on many occasions, as a means to fend off any sort of panic or anxiety that could come as a result of conflict. His guilt and anxiety for hurting X is in turn hurting me and causing anxiety. Such a paradox. But such a relief to hear it from someone other than myself so that I can stop thinking that I just might be crazy. Wow.
Have any of you had experiences with a therapist like this? Where they completely help make you feel enlightened in regards to a situation that you've been analyzing and staring at for months? It is such an interesting feeling to me right now.
As I walked over to the therapist's office, I was thinking to myself: "Yanno, I don't know if I need this...", but I have to tell you that the hour flew by, and I actually feel lucky to have stumbled upon such a kind-hearted and wise woman to bounce my thoughts and feelings off of.
In my session last week, we honed in on why I have a tendency to cut people out of my life, and whether or not it is truly a healthy practice.
This week, we focused on whether or not I feel that Mike has both feet in our relationship, and how I would feel differently if I truly thought that his feet were entirely in. (For the record, I think he is 97%. And for the record, I know that that is not the number it should be.) We dove into Mike's anxiety issues and she explained how his guilt of hurting someone, anyone, not just X, controls his actions on many occasions, as a means to fend off any sort of panic or anxiety that could come as a result of conflict. His guilt and anxiety for hurting X is in turn hurting me and causing anxiety. Such a paradox. But such a relief to hear it from someone other than myself so that I can stop thinking that I just might be crazy. Wow.
Have any of you had experiences with a therapist like this? Where they completely help make you feel enlightened in regards to a situation that you've been analyzing and staring at for months? It is such an interesting feeling to me right now.
5 comments:
You lucky, lucky girl. I am SO glad you had such a great conversation and have found someone with whom you can share. I wish I had that experience way back when...it might have helped not thinking I was completely off my rocker :) Love you doll, hope all is well!
I think I might be kinda jealous of your thearpy hah!! But really, I'm glad to hear it's going so well, have you been passing along what she says to M?
Conversations like that are fantastic. Have to admit I wish I had a therapist lately. I used to have one but never this good. It's not a bad thing at all and I think the more you go the more you find what you're looking for!!!! (as in an answer)
Hugs!!!!
So glad you found a good therapist!
I'm happy for you that you're getting the help you need. Can't wait to hear how it continues to go!
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