Oh boy.

Oh boy.  Boy oh boy oh boy.

I just don't know.  He has spent the entire day showering me in his remorse.  I "knocked him flat on his ass" last night and he "will do anything it takes to not lose me".  It's so difficult knowing what to do.  When do you stop fighting?  How do you determine what's worth just one more effort?

Three of you that read this blog have actually met Mike.  My cousin, Nicole (from Prairie Princess), even hosted Mike + me for a week when we visited her in Montana this summer.  If you know Mike,  you generally love him.  There's nothing not to love about him.  Even through these trials he is pulling me through, my love for him hasn't lessened a bit.

And that's the hard part.

And I have another big something to divulge to you...I've been contemplating for a few months, and this past week (before all this happened), I decided that after three years here in NY/Connecticut, I would like to move back to LA.  (For my two cousins who read this blog, this is a huge hush-hush from everyone in my "real life" so far.)

So that obviously throws just one more big kink in everything, because now it's either: we are together, and he comes along to LA with me (he loves LA), or we are done with it and I leave and that is the end of it all.

Can you sense through the screen how clouded my mind is?